Friday, August 28, 2009

Finding your reservoir...

It goes without saying that I am back to reading my blogs~~okay, so I didn't make it a week but my little step back was invigorating in the sense that I garnered a little perspective.

I am easily (fortunately) inspired by life and by the lives of inspiring people, by their words and their examples, so from time to time, I get caught in a swirl of lovely, chaotic, I-want-to-drink-the-nectar-of-life-but-oh-god-can-I-handle-all-that-beauty state of mind. Maybe it's my ADD [All Divinity is Delicious~~I wanna taste it all!]

Nevertheless, my moon cycle is ending and I am entering the blissful, insightful calm that follows and have spent my morning with coffee and blogs.

From Now, This is Yoga, I clipped this from the author's post about Rusty Wells. Though I'm not familiar with him or his teaching, I was inspired by what she shared about him:

Rusty asks us at the hot sweaty exhausted end of the journey to conjure up the person we would do anything for- the one who when they are tired, you work harder for them. The person who you hold it together for. The person you do it all for.

Ah~~for me, persons. My children and myself (and certainly others at periods of my life).

For us, I rise before dawn for my practice, whatever shape it takes for that day, so that I ground myself for the day ahead and have plenty of it left to share with them, to teach them, to listen to them.

For us, I pull myself from fatigue even as it seeps into the marrow of my bones, so that we might walk together along the river in the evenings, talking together, just when they need me the now.

For us, I pull from the reservoir daily, to give to them, to share with them, to learn from them, to show to them how much they mean to me and this world, to show them their words are important and I hear them, learn from them, am inspired by them.

I pull from the reservoir because I am in love with them and because they brought illumination to living when they were gifted to me, this 'sacred trust' of raising children~~sacred because, who if not you?

This past week, I have been ever mindful of the ways in which I am able to 'mother-up' [a loose variation of 'soldier-up'], to basically pull from the reservoir, that place inside that reveals itself to me at the precise moment I think I have nothing left and just as my knees come to hit the ground and my body folds forward in surrender, they charge me and I become more, more than I thought I had alone.

Just yesterday, I came home after working with several hours before I was scheduled to teach and I was hoping that the threat of rain in the darkened sky would encourage them to ask for an afternoon in with mom [read: me napping blissfully on the sofa while we watched a "family movie"] instead of the walk on the river we had planned. They had their own 'in case of rain' plan--SHOPPING!

They recently received money from their abuelita (little grandmother) and wanted to shop~~they already knew what they wanted to buy, just needed the 'ride' to get them there.

Pull from the reservoir.

My darling daughter bought a new hamster cage (with a little help from brother's $$$), some hamster treats, yellow nail polish and make-up. My precious little man bought games for his DS (handheld game device for others out there, like myself, who don't understand :-)

They were so full of 'thank yous' and smiles and hugs for me~~I was nourished, lifted and refueled.

I took them home and they began unpacking and setting up their wares. I settled on my back in bed to just close my eyes, setting the alarm for 10 minutes, just in case the pull of sleep overpowered me.

Then, off to teach.

Following class, that also refueled me because I felt so authentic in my presence and guidance, I called the kiddos on my way home to declare PIZZA NIGHT~~be ready when I get home.

The hits just kept on rolling in for our little family and when I laid myself down to sleep, the peace cradled me and as I slept, the reservoir replenished itself for another round.

No comments: