Thursday, June 24, 2010


A peculiar attitude or bias; eccentric turn or bent of mind; eccentricity.

I have intentionally changed the look and theme of this site - yoga is still very much a part of my path and will color the posts here but I write from where I'm at and where I'm at right now is a place of uncertainty and confusion.

I am unsettled and raw and exposed and I attribute these feelings to coming to know myself in a relationship - with the scrutinizing eyes of the other standing next to me - wondering if I can ever measure up.

Everything about my practice, all that brought me peace before her has failed to sustain me and I need a new way of being, a new practice - on and off the mat.

How will I put myself back together if we can't pull through?

How will I breathe again?

How will my feet ever walk the same path knowing hers were there at some other space in time?

I am so fallible.

I am ashamed and bruised from the inside and desperate to feel good about myself feel as if I am actually capable of holding someone up...

...too bad it wasn't her.

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