The "Twist" in Me

twist: (n.) a peculiar attitude; eccentric turn or bent of mind; eccentricity.

I was thinking today as I was shuttling my children around town--drop-off my daughter for violin, then drop-off my son to acting, then pick-up my daughter from violin, then pick-up my son from acting--I'm typically just teetering on the edge of sanity.

I mean, really, if you could see the thoughts reeling through my mind and the course they take over an 18 hour period, on most days, I'm certifiable.

I take some sort of comfort in that, don't ask me to explain, I'm not sure I could--it's my constant and I'll take security however it comes. And, while I should be ashamed of it given my yogic path, I'm surprisingly, not.

I embrace it--it's why I chose my blog name. A word that summarizes the physical practice and the state of mind I work from.

I am twisted.

I succumb to rage.

When I drink red wine, I occasionally drink well past the happy place. Not to the drunken-sludge-making-a-scene-on-the-street-corner limit but well past happy.

I veg in front of the TV from time to time--guilty pleasure.

I peak at the headlines on trashy magazines.

I cuss like a drunken' misfit or...Kathy Griffin (love her!)

When someone shares good news, I have been known to have tinges of 'why not me'?

Twisted.

BUT...

I also seek solace and peace in my mind, amid the craziness and the murky waters, and I actually find it from time to time through diligence and desire.

I feel deeply and often twist myself inside and out over an emotion but you won't find hate in this heart...I love with intensity and am led by my compassion. Life means something to me as do the people I share this planet and lifetime with.

I love with a devotion that even time or distance cannot dissolve--when you've made your way into my heart, you're a keeper.

So twisted--so very, very twisted.

So beautifully twisted.