Chronicling the pain...

...is something I've never really done before.

I usually write about what's going on in my life and before now, it was my journey to greater self-awareness through yoga.

Now, it's my gut wrenching journey through pain - where every step, every breath, every action and inaction threatens to be that which breaks me all the way.

Every thing is charged with the memory of her...songs - so I've changed the style of music I listen to now, foods - so I don't eat (but mainly because I can't), places - so I carefully navigate space and oftentimes, my breath gets caught in my chest at the suggestion of her in the space, even once upon a time.

Even my body is charged with memories of her...I look at my skin and I can remember her hand caressing me, I can almost discern the path it took...can still feel her breath on my neck.

I am a living, breathing monument of pain and what might have been.



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